January 2010
41 posts
So I hear back from the mothership today. It seems moving home was a factor in things and a deal breaker on her side if I didn’t. Course it’s also a huge deal breaker with me. Some of my friends can handle their parents….they get along just fine. I can barely go three days without having my step father start making sniping comments at me and me doing my damn best to keep my...
Returns of the New Years day stupidity..
So I come home to a message from my mother carrying on as if my last message never made it through to her. And as things stand it probably never did thanks to the reliability of facecrack and my mothers inability to use browsers let alone a social networking site reliably. I used to use Gmail but really…when those emails go missing you know it’s the other person who’s...
I was supposed to sing last night….and I sorta did. At least I did in the time we waited for them to draw names and start the list for last nights open mic. We weren’t on it. There’s always next week. Yesterday wasn’t so great though considering I was woken at 4am again. This time because my roomie wanted to make sure I was home before he put the chain on the front...
So I woke insanely early this morning and randomly started talking to the ex again. This ended up in me wandering over to his place for hours and hours of snuggles while watching Hot Fuzz. Best way to kick the blues ever! Even though our break up was really bad I still love how secure I feel about myself around him. It’s me at my most confident.
Ok so I feel the fool right now. It took me talking to Mike today to realise why I’ve been feeling so down. Sure the things I listed before were justified but the actual fact they were getting me as down as they did was due to a huge reduce of serotonin in my system. I know exactly why it’s like that and am going to keep that more or less to myself. But needless to say it’s...
Tegan and Sara - Hell
This is a minute where I feel randomly overwhelmed as I sit here at the end of the day. I’m not getting nearly enough hours at work let alone being paid the amount I deserve for my years of experience. I was supposed to have coffee with my ex and then head off to an open mic to sing tonight but that again fell through. Hell so did coffee though that was moved to sunday. I doubt...
I met this amazing guy tonight. In a way it reminded me a lot of how I met my ex. Yes it was in a loud room crowded with people and just like the other time we left to wander outside to continue talking and so we could hear ourselves think. Unlike my ex who is five ish years younger then me this guy is eight. Maybe I’m just attractive to that infectiousness of youth. But there’s...
I know it’s weird. But when I sat across from this old woman who was obviously out of it for a moment and had some milky substance slip from her lip to her scarf I thought of you and all our talks about cyborgs and the odd trail off to the one in Aliens. She must be a cyborg in disguise. Waiting for the fall of humanity so that she could shed her mask of feebleness and reign supreme!
So this weekends been nothing but a run of parties and general emotional insanity(?). HOC had one of it’s parties this Saturday. Actually it was probably one of the biggest I’ve yet to see put on. Both gals were amazing hosts and fed us these decadent shots that had been premixed earlier that week and then there were also orange rind jello shots that had either vodka, gin or jager...
So I work with a company that sells apparel and outerwear for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. As far as treatment of workers go we have it pretty good. Sure we no longer sell on comission but we get just about everything at work at about half off. This includes the VANOC stuff. Now one thing an employee of my company knows is that you never call another store and ask them to put stuff on hold for...
I’ve had some people in life call me an optimist and I disagree with them. I always disagreed with them but it wasn’t until I met one woman that I could probably explain why I wasn’t but that instead I was actually a realist.
This woman is a negative person. In any situation in life she always assumes and prepares for the worst. If good things happens she’s not the one...
I’ve almost always been what I’d refer to as a closet musician. I’ll hum or sing publicly from time to time but it’s been over a decade since I’ve properly preformed in front of large audiences. Even then it was only ever singing.
I’ve had a guitar now ever since I moved out of my parents when I was 19 because well…it just seemed like the thing to do...
hobbunny by ~Santani on deviantART →
Today feels like a day of small miracles. Even when some fairly major body issues, aka doin’ the female bit but hard core today, could get me uber down I can still find the good in it :3
For instance the fact that for the first time in months if not a year or more now I probably am bloated…but ya know what. I don’t feel like some fat cow. My clothes are in fact still falling...
Best Canadian Cidar ever next to Merridale on the... →
Ya seriously need to check this one out if you never have in past!
Energized!
Maybe it’s that I have the van with me today(thank you roomie!) or maybe it’s that I’m listening to Paramore for the first time ever and finding their music delightfully energetic which is something I know I need of late. Maybe though it’s that I finally rid my shelves of those disgustingly vapid but at the same time addictive Twilight books. Really they were like candy...
So it’s day two of awesome evening with friends and Zombie killings. I was actually so boned post work today with the 2 or so hours of sleep I’d managed to pull off.
After a 4hr rest post work I meandered over to Tavi’s where we worked our way through most of the first stage of LFD before the AI killed us a few times over. I swear to god. WHY does the AI need med packs! They...
Dear Mother...
I write you to you now because after hours of attempting to sleep I find myself in failure. I find myself waking and reeling to the point of tears over our inability to communicate. How after 15 odd years the therapy sessions we both once willing sat through have now come to nothing. They were a waste of your money and a wastes of our time. It was not because of the therapist though. He was...
Today really was just plain fantastic...
Ok well…it didn’t really start out that way but it definately got that way in the end. It actually started as a return of the past ex bf that I had run away from a year ago and never got the hint. It says a lot when a person constantly waxes poetic(aka very vaguely) on subjects and then gets upset when everyone misunderstands and gets upset at them. Add to that when their error is...
I really haven’t been doing too well since New years. Or rather I had a few really bad days that have gradually been improving. Now that my weekend has hit I’ve taken the initiative to finally put together a few bags of clothes that I don’t wear anymore. They’re on their way to the Sally Ann tomorrow and in the hunting through of stuff I also found a few pieces that I want...
A note about suicide (not a suicide note). « Mez... →
A sad topic yes…but something I feel should be read and shared.
Just saw the last David Tennant episodes of the newer Doctor Who series. OMG good…and then OMG anti climactic….ah well. I’ll miss David but I guess people were right. It really is his time to move on. I would have really loved to see him as hamlet though. I’m so used to seeing him in comedy and sorta drama roles. It’d be nice to see something really serious.
Meh….silly post was drafted and never made it up.
Still haven’t heard back from my last message but I’m sure I will.
The pro’s of new years eve though were having all my near and dears close at hand. More kisses then I ever have on a normal night. Seeing The Dreadnoughts always seems to stir up this near orgy of affection in almost everyone I know. It’s both...
Aftermath of what had been till this point a great...
Mother 01 January at 12:12
You have an Aunt Min & Uncle Simon who are less than impressed with your treatment of Stephanie this morning…….amends and apologies are in order at your very earliest opportunity….
Me 01 January at 12:49
So I need to apologise for not being there to hold her hand all the way to the ferry but instead writing out in detail before I passed out last...